QBLesson - Quarterback & Football

Viagra

QB Lessons in McKinney in Dallas will teach you about viagra. Listen to the quarterback coach in McKinney in Dallas. Trust your quarterback lesson in McKinney in Dallas. Leaving an interview John Elway turns to his assistant. Hey you got a Viagra. John, its 2pm on a Thursday. We still have to hire Marvin Lewis, and trade for Eli Manning. Yeah but I don’t know if I will ever be able to get my dick hard again after that interview with Zac Taylor. Holy shit — I asked him to explain football in Canada. And he told me a story about the ball being bigger than he thought. And he immediately knew he couldn’t play there. And I just stared at him. Because I knew that Gary Kubiak being his offensive coordinator after winning a Super Bowl with the Broncos literally just 3 years ago, but then now reporting to a 35 year novice, would basically result in a minimum of 6 games, before a coup occurred, Zac was fired on National Television, and the Nebraska fans realized that Scott Frost couldn’t coach either, but lets try to hire Zac, because maybe he more suited for college, further perpetuating the downward spiral that is the Cornhuskers. When literally all you have to fucking do. All you have to do is hire Paul Johnson. And Re-Install the fucking Triple Option. That is it. And you will be in the national title within 3 years. And probably win 4-5-6 of them because everyone runs the spread offense now, and is little, and all the lineman are the size of tight ends so they can pull and trap, and stretch, and sweep sweep, and so if you literally just recruit monster lineman, and run the ball 45 times a game, you will be Alabama and win 6 fucking national titles. The formula is so god damn fucking easy. Literally in life. Okay in fucking life. Whenever you see a group of people doing the same thing. You do the fucking opposite. And you will race to the front of the fucking line. And be high as shit in Las Vegas on gummies, watching a guy yell at the cash register lady about having the wrong passes for the buffett and can I still get in, and then you happen to be next in line, pleasantly calm and tranquil, and say hey look I don’t even stay at this hotel, but its just me, 1 person, and ill be here max 30 minutes, can I please just not wait in that line of 300 people, and pay to go in, ill tip you, and she smiles and says well since that last guy was such a jerk, and you are so nice, yes I will let you go in, and then you pay and go in, eat 5-6 fucking plates of lobster bisque, crab legs, mac and cheese, chicken wings, little fucking macaroons caramel, cookies and cream ice cream, in pure fucking silence and matrimony. Until you can’t fucking walk back through the lobby to your uber to go back to room.  Zero fucking star power. I bet Zac only drinks 1 day a fucking week. I bet.  Like porn on the old hot box I use to have in the living room where they would blur out the dick going in part. This is true. Dead serious. You think Amazon started online shopping. Nope. Not Ebay. None of these mother fuckers. Porn. In entrepreneurial circles, PORN is almost always the first industry to spark change. People wanted to use credit cards to pay for porn online. And those were the first online shops where you could do that. Buy a monthly membership to Bang Bros.com for $29.95. And no fucking blurred out reverse cowgirl anal. Mom I want this new playstation VR system that we tweaked using the porn industry until it worked just good enough to have to hold your cell phone at an awkward angle to either see their tits, or their ass. But not both yet. Oh wait, this angle shows it all. Fuck I can’t hold the phone in this angle this long. I am going with the tits. Yeah lots of new technology gets recycled through porn because the people are naked, and so the cameras and lighting and all the tech has to be absolutely fucking perfect for the product to look good and sell. So that is why. Thanks H for telling me that. Well go ahead watch it on that 90’s documentary on Netflix. I learned this shit a long time ago when I first got into tech, but was reaffirmed last night. When they said it that documentary.  Look folks, life is a box of chocolates, and I only like the caramel ones. Does anyone ever just come home on your wife’s birthday? Honey I got you a box of chocolates. Hmm so delicious babe. Opens the box. OMG there are over 100 pieces in here. I really just wanted some David Yurman. Grabs one. What is this one? Bites into it. Ew it has fucking creme in it. Fucking gross. What is this one? Bites into it. Fucking cherry. Greg, what the fuck- I like peanut butter fucking m & ms from Kroger. Not fucking Howie Mandel Deal or no Deal fucking choose your ending, Jenny should have chosen Forest the entire time, fucking boxes of chocolate. That is why gay guys always become CEO’s of home renovation project shows on Bravo. They say elite CEO’s almost never marry until their 40s. Call you a blue flame. The hottest part of the lighter. Burning that midnight oil. No fucking responsibilities except for changing the fucking world.  Don’t have to fucking memorize their wives favorite fucking candy. Some of these flaming blue check verified gay guys pretend to be sports analysts and like each others opinions and tweets on twitter all fucking day. Babe what are you doing? Liking Greg McCelroys tweets about Calculus. Babe, can I tell you something? Yeah sure Hun. I sometimes just stare at his profile picture on twitter and think. Is he playing paint ball or snowboarding? And also did god try to give him a deeper voice because he knew he was going to look like a teenager forever. So god what do you want to have born today? Umm its the end of the month. Give me 20,000 Colt McCoys born by Friday. And Greg was one of them who won the democratic lottery to migrate from heaven to earth. Guys lets take a picture of us off duty and post it on twitter. Chris Fowler uploading pictures of him hanging out with Kirk Herbstreit in the back of a fucking van with their producers, and using the wine emoji. What does that even fucking mean? That they are just parked in a parking lot at the mall passing around a bottle of wine before they go into a hooters for some wings and college basketball. Are there wives at home raising the kids, taking them to Pin Stacks to play the Jurrassic Park video game, and they get a ping notification on their apple series 4 watch that their husband is doing the tour de franzia with his best group of girls. What? Babe I thought you were working. Out. Your heart. All anyone talks about when you age is your heart. Yeah I need a baby aspirin one time a day because of my heart. Yeah I can’t fucking have BBQ because of my heart. Yeah I can’t tie a belt around my neck and die jerking off because of Robin Williams.  Once I saw Chris Fowler on a treadmill at NC State. Never fucking trust someone who puts gel in there hair to go workout. Just one second Kirk, I have to put some LA looks in my hair. Stiff hold. Hey btw are you related to Kirk Cousins? Because of the name Kirk. No bro, that is the first name. We have different last names. Yeah I can’t believe you were once the backup quarterback for Ohio State. Well at least you’re more interesting than Zac Taylor. Lets go workout. And there they were Just running on the treadmill. Only part of his body that sweats matches exactly his V Neck shirt. That is what all guys do his age. They are proud because they can jog 5 miles on a fucking treadmill. Congratulations bro. Your pinnacle achievement on earth. The heisman trophy of the treadmill. I saw my sister run one time. I was like she runs wierd. My mom is like- no perfect fucking form. People at triatholons say she has perfect form. Okay Chris. I get it. God. I have been trained by D1 strength coaches pointlessly on running form, when I am a quarterback and should have just been dropping back and throwing the whole time. But I get it. You’ve seen at least 1 treadmill in every university in the country. And the number 1 player on Rivals.com should definitely go to Texas. Because they have great treadmills in their facilities. And their coach cheats on his wife with strippers and does blow from sarah michelle gellars cross neckles in Cruel Intentions. Lets go grab lunch.  No man I can’t eat carbs. Yeah but you can eat, right? Like you still eat food. I am on the keto. diet. with Vinny from Jersey Shore. I can only eat the pepperonis off the pizza. Thats it. Yeah I can only eat burgers without their buns. What would you like today sir? Umm I am going to start with a water. And yeah ill do the cobb salad. Light vinegarrette. What do you want Harrison? I want a fucking mahi mahi sandwich with a slice of cheddar cheese on top, and some fries. And an excessive amount of ketchup. Our bottle has none. The waitress tries to memorize the order to validate her being a waitress but maybe smart too. I get up and go to the table next to mine and grab their ketchup. Because I don’t have fucking time to wait for Ketchup. And that bitch is gonna forget. Guaranteed. Then I will get my baked potato at Outback Steakhouse where I fucking very clearly, very defined, obviously fucking asked for as much sour cream as possible. And you brought me a fucking pioneer women pinch of fucking basil sized amount of sour cream. Can you go fucking get some more? Um please. Yeah sure. Wow this guy really likes sour cream. Goes to get it and takes fucking forever, and I have to fucking wait to eat my fucking baked potato.  Wow H you really know what you want. Yeah when I go to restaurants I just tell them what I want to eat and it works almost every time. Enjoy your fucking salad. Fucking girl. Fucking embarrassed I even have to fucking look at you. Fucking salad. A guy ordering a salad. Get the fuck out of here. I might even leave. I don’t fucking diet either. Yeah Ill have a diet coke. God dammit. Yeah trying to cut back on the calories. You want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life? Right Steve. Right. Lets keep making computers that are beige. So all one guy has to do to make a billion dollar company is make computers in different colors. To get rich. Yeah I want these things in yellow, and blue, and purple. Make em like computers built by a bag of Starbust. Only to stop doing that, and just make them in silver now. Or being sold out of rose gold at ATT during Christmas. I don’t want fucking black. I want fucking rose gold. We don’t have it. Its fucking Christmas time. And you don’t have the only reason someone gave you a job, which is to sell me a fucking rose gold apple watch. Great fucking goatee. Steve would be rolling over in his grave right now watching Tim Cook blame Trump for weakening the Chinese economy, which they told us that China was going to hurt us, to which we are finding out that China will soon have to cave to us. Because anyone in business knows that subcontracting is volume based, and as soon as you turn the fucking volume down on your sub contractor, their business in dead. Alexa, volume 7. Alexa, you’re going to have to be made in America now. Alexa, why is Elizabeth Warren drinking a beer on Instagram trying to humanize herself when one time I saw her on fox chastising someone about Loretta Scott King, and seriously believing that anyone gives a fuck about anything other than Qanon right now. Fucking China, You can’t have 80% of your economic revenue invested into 1 fucking customer. I mean people this is economics fucking 101. Like grow the fuck up, and stop fucking tweeting about who got a gold hall of fame jacket, read a fucking book. I swear to god someone should go around the city and ask people if they have ever managed a P & L before. I guarantee more than half wouldn’t even know what a P & L is. You mean P, B & J. And then you wonder why during voting season people vote for fucking Beto O’Rourke’s DUI, Robbery, Leaving the Scene of a Crime mugshot. Thats not a fucking Monday Night Football introduction picture. Beto O’Rourke UTEP.  Trump hasn’t even had a sip of alcohol in his life, or sent an email to Mark Cuban. Only hand written letters in permanent marker he requires you to shred after reading. That everyone should stop sending emails, and posting online, and probably go back to doing because Netflix only provides you with movies they know you’ll love. Like It Takes Two with the Olsen Twins which I loved as a kid and watched the other day, and it was fucking great. I love Kirsty Alley. and Tim Allen when their car breaks down and they turn that omish village upside down, and think about eventually actually living there permanently. Love that shit. Lets nominate the fucking small town shoplifter for President. Is Obama and Biden not the classic case of college roommates? Man we use to stay up on the porch smoking cigarettes together after the bar. Bro remember that one time we got into a deep discussion about how Drake might be the greatest rapper of all time. Getting ice cream together constantly. Now I don’t even have his phone number anymore. Hey I heard Biden was pissed you don’t want to endorse him in the election. You ever fucking live with that mother fucker. Fucking pubes all over his fucking base of his toilet. Never cleaned the fucking bathroom once. Fucking endorsement. Fuck no. Damn. Fucking guys who don’t know how to clean. No seriously learn how to fucking clean your house. Vacuum it, clean the toilets, the sinks, disinfect that mother fucker. Harrison, you are never sick. Yeah because I wipe my fucking door handles down with anti-bacterial lysol wipes 1x week. And wash my fucking hands. And use listerine. And shower a lot. Because I am fucking clean. No one in this fucking house is going to any god damn movie, doing anything fun, nothing – until this fucking house is fucking clean. Do you fucking hear me. Alexa, put on 90’s radio. Killing in the Name of. Damn I like this song. Grabs the windex, the disinfectant and 2 rolls of toilet paper. Its time to fucking clean. They say the best time to think is while you are cleaning. Hmm I wonder I am losing all of these twitter followers. In the hundreds every day. Could it be the MAGA hat in my throwing videos? Could it be like when a shark swims into a school of fish on the discovery channel, and they all scatter? Is the one follower I have left my moray eel? My ride or die. Should I start tweeting out pictures of pulled pork sandwiches? Is it like when you have a team meeting at work, and the boss says okay who has any ideas on what we should do here. And you’re only 31 but you raise your hand and suggest that folks should make you CEO. Because you’re one of the smartest people to ever fucking live. And they can’t believe you said that or think that because the average age of a CEO is 65 years old. And they get mad at you and resent you for not giving a fuck about anything other than you trying to do baller ass shit at all times. You wait your fucking turn. You listen to other people who only make $150K so you can only learn to make $150K, because if you listened to people who made a $1M then you might have a chance to learn how to make a $1M. And we wonder why people are fucking poor is because he have $60K managers telling $40K managers one day they could be $60K managers if they perform well for 2 years. And people just accept that shit. Like the alligators at miniature golf I put gator food into a hair clip and lower down into their den, and feed them dried fucking dog food. And the gators never fucking think that my ancestors in Lake Placid fucking ate cows a nice old lady fed us to keep us calm, but actually teaching us how to interact with humans, and eventually requiring a team of scientists to fly down, set up camp and try to stop. No, these fucking bamboo fences will stop us. I think we should bring back the BCS, I think it should be an 8 team playoff, I think fucking I can actually feel the emotion in a text message because it passes through my body to get to my phone. And when you google are cell phones more dangerous than cigarettes it finishes the sentence for me in the search box. Man Harrison you are so fucking funny man. I voted Hilarious in your latest Twitter poll. Thanks man. Fucking thanks.  James Comey is like I have never seen Trump just laugh. Yeah because he is the one telling the jokes. You are the one who fucking laughs. The first four letters of the word culture are cult. That is not a coincidence. I don’t drink Kool Aid, all I drink is water, milk, and vodka. On fucking repeat.  Roger Stone has a set of rules where he explains that when he hears someone mention the word culture he reaches for his gun. A set of core values created by companies to suppress their front line staff into never becoming CEO. Put your fucking hand down and have some respect with Arethra Franklin. That politics is performance art. That this whole government shutdown is really just Kabuki theatre. The chef who makes your fucking hibachi making you think the spatula is gonna hit your face. Ill fucking beat your ass that thing hits my face. That pretty soon folks are going to be looking around going do we even need a government. Mark Cuban said it should run like the Amazon anyways. Its shutdown but he still shot free throws this morning at the Mavs facility because he thinks he could play in the NBA if god would have read more of his blogs on Linked In. Look up the last 53 Super Bowls and who won them. Go ahead and draft Dwanye Haskins. Give the New York Giants a Viagra.

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