QBLesson - Quarterback & Football


​QB Lessons in Mckinney in Dallas will teach you about the symphony. Listen to the quarterback coach in McKinney in Dallas. Trust your quarterback lessons in McKinney in Dallas. What is power? Steve Jobs says. Frank Underwood thought it was the presidency, until he got there, and couldn’t get shit done, claire’s a bitch too, and realized it was working in the private sector, once he went to Bohemian Grove in Season 5, and I am at home, like fuck, no wonder they want Alex Jones off the air. Mother fucker was the first person to try to tell us billionaires assemble for a weekend in the hills of California, and worship a fucking owl called Moloch, and act gay with each other, Nixon, who was discovered through a newspaper ad by Prescott Bush, calling it the most faggoty place he had ever seen, dressed up as priests while they sacrifice someone, and then fucking decide that Trump should be president, but we will let Hillary run to give you the illusion of option, and not realizing that the government is really just 1 in the same party, called the thesis, anti-thesis, synthesis model of establishing communism in the shade of democracy, which Ocasio Cortez found out about today, when they left her off the financial committees because counting your tips at the close of the bar, isn’t enough experience to be smart enough to set up an international bank called the Federal Reserve to regulate every countries economy, and direct deposit the bottom line into the Rothlischild fidelity account.  You play the instruments, and I will play the orchestra. You on the violin. You are the flutes. You on the Tubas. You as President. Yeah you owe me like 6 billion dollars cause you bankrupt a casino after all your executives died in a plane crash headed to a yankees game, that you were supposed to be on, but weren’t, and now that we are all in the same room talking about ways you can pay back your debts to all these banks but technically you trapped us because we can’t just not have you being rich, because then we definitely won’t get our money back, so touche my lord, but here is a deal, we will inject you with another couple hundred million, and instead of paying me back, we are just going to put you in Home Alone, put you on the Apprentice, and over the next 20 or so years, build your brand up, until every rapper thinks being rich as you is baller, and tells you about it in a lyric in their song, and your name becomes synonymous with the word billion, and for some reason people worship literally paper, you will have lock steel credibility with all the people begging for water in Mad Max, and then out of nowhere, now that you are established as one of the premiere business men on the planet, we are going to run you as the President in the Simpsons, and as predicted by them, in real life, and the regulations you cut, will pay me back. Belicheck wants you to do your fucking job. Slogans man. Got to have them to run a company, and be iconic. H Beck will teach you how to Go Deep! The Internet’s First Ever Starting Quarterback. Hmm. Lets talk about Mozart.  There were no iPhones, or important jobs, or things to do, no expectations for doing anything really, except for being alive, and wearing a fucking wig, and some heavy ass jackets and clothes, and clogs, and scarfs, taking longer than your wife to get dressed up, powdering doughnut your face, for some reason, and all so Napolean could transfer you the Louisiana Purchase via capital one, and Mozart could just play the piano. All fucking day. Like in the book Outliers, that every shitty manager in all this fake bullshit business every one thinks they are doing these days, you sell fucking knee braces to rehabilitation clinics you fucking idiot, says, 10,000 hours man, and in 10,000 hours you will be a genius at helping people not have knee pain, hey you read outliers man, its my favorite book, it inspires me to do fucking nothing, because I have a dead end 60K a year job and career, not fucking doing shit but putting on a shitty Macy’s fucking tie on, driving a shitty Nissan Altima, and some piece of shit steel dipped in gold Micheal Kors watch I got from Dillards, that all girls say, I want a big watch now to go with my tiny black dress, and I go to fucking work, and I manage a platoon of baboon, fucking howling monkeys crying about their fucking vacation time, in between coffee breaks, 40 minute dumps that they search every fucking bathroom in the building until they found one someone wasn’t lingering in, and then they go back to their office, call their fucking wives to talk about eating fucking salmon later, yeah ill get it from the store after work so you can cook it when you get home, and get back to sizing a picture on their fucking power point, they are getting ready to do a presentation on, what we are going to fucking do, about not being able to keep our employees from fucking quitting all the time, and blaming it on the wage rates that the fucking casino down the street pays, compared to what we can afford to pay, and you look over, and Harrison gives absolutely 100 percent 0 fucking fucks about what the fuck you are talking about, you fucking, are one pathetic loser. What the fuck is happening? Great recall man. Remember when you were a high school quarterback no one recruited because you fucking sucked. Sean McVay calls fucking plays on offense that take longer than a fucking scene in Hamilton to develop, and you look around at the people sitting next to you, literally all this fucking idiot did, was make colonial people fucking rap their lines, instead of just say them or creating great songs on their piano because they were bored, and that is fucking what people think is fucking awesome. Great job McVay. Great job you shave your face with a 1 guard, 1x a week, trimmed beard red head, which means you sunburn easily, and also  melt like a fucking candle during any playoff game you have ever been in going all the way fucking back to the redskins, and the 4-21 fucking record Kirk Cousins has against any winning team or other quarterback, and Jared Goff sure looks like he thinks he is at Cal because around week 11 of the regular season, and the end of the college football season, he started to get more fidgety than Josh Rosen not being able to see his friends in his economics class before football practice. I took economics because I am smart, and one day I want to be the CFO of a non-profit that helps Hayden Pantierre save killer whales. What are my friends doing?  Hey Chris, what are you doing man? Hows the day going? Man today sucks, I have valet park cars tonight for 36K a year, but lots of cash tips, so its like more. That is awesome. Well I play for the Cardinals, so all I have to do today is walk around the facility with a fucking gatorade bar half eaten in my hand, a fucking angel food strawberry and banana smoothie king, in a fucking long sleeve loose fit, with a playbook under my left elbow, in socks with sandles, headed over to my fucking QB room I decorated with Christmas Lights, that Sam Bradford was like, I am not sure if we should do this guys, and Josh was like, man shut the fuck up you cross eyed, fucking Matt Leinhart needed coke bottle glasses a kid, story Brent Musberger told us in 2005 during the national title he lost verse texas, that Micheal Franzese, the recovering mafia bookie, told us at NC State was rigged, all so he could fucking see straight, Matt, back to Sam, you fucking big ass front teeth looking mother fucker, no man seriously, we should focus on the falcons, while I stand on the fucking sidelines in my Dick Sporting Goods manican fucking outfit, and collect $20M dollars to watch you get fucking hurt every single 6 quarters all the way since freshman year at UCLA. Yeah lets post this fucking Santas workshop at the Gaylord, $100 ticket, hunny we can’t afford that shit this year, quarterback room on instagram. So coach Wilks can explain to his wife that we have to move again babe, because I thought Josh was studying, but he is fucking live streaming protein packets with the cast of the vanderpumps on twitter, I guess it doesn’t fucking matter, because in the NFL once you’re in, you’re in, you just keep getting recycled like the ocean trash that was collected, and turned into the Miami Hurricanes jerseys, and one of the players was like why the fuck does it feel like I am wearing the fucking plastic that holds a six pack of beer together, that Ben Mcadoo threw on the ground, when he finished his Natty Lights, before walking into Kliff’s office to accept the offensive coordinator position, and also to undermine him during an insecure feeling season 2, and the Cardinals setting Kliff up with this insurance policy they told him was actually helping him by hiring veteran coaches he can lean on, during difficult times and stretches, like his hand out and if he was smart would walk into the first coaches meeting, and fucking open hand, as hard as he fucking can, smack Mcadoo’s fucking buthole crumbs fucking sweep of a mustache right off his Aaron Rodgers secretly Freddie Mercury, fucking Studio 54 lingering ass, face. So fucking hard that Mcadoo falls out his fucking computer chair, and then you should also throw the fucking XOS clicker at him, and say, get this fucking offense, fucking right, right fucking now. One fucking mistake, and I swear to fucking god, ill send your fucking ass into the fucking locker room with Vernon Davis in the middle of the fucking game. You know what, we don’t even fucking watch film in my fucking offense. Go to fucking Walgreens, and get a huge fucking white board, for your fucking 4th grade science fair project, so you can glue the fucking statistics on why warheads are not as fucking sour as shocktarts, after testing 2 bags, and 2 rolls of fucking each, and you fucking get back to your fucking office, and you find the 8 best fucking memes on the fucking internet, and glue them onto this fucking board, and when Josh wants a fucking play, you point to Scott Van Pelts fucking face, and that is the fucking play, and one time I saw Stephen Garcia tell a fan what the name of one of his half- famous touchdown passes was, and it was something like Gator Pop Pass 9 route, and I said, holy fucking shit, Steve Spurrier better never call my fucking dad when I am in the fucking shower again, and my dad tell him H is in the fucking shower, and he is not going to South Carolina, and hangs up the fucking phone on Spurrier, and I get the fuck out of the shower, and he says, hey son Spurrier called and I told him you weren’t going to South Carolina, and I said, god dammit, what the fuck are you doing? Fucking Steve Spurrier. Fuck, I wanted to talk to him. I fucking love Rex Grossman, fucking wow now I am fucking glad, because I found out he calls some of the dumbest fucking play names in getting canned from the fucking Redskins for trying to surround himself with Shane Matthews, and Ivanka, whose husband Jared is probably, most likely, secretly a Gary Cohn globalist democratic, which I don’t understand how I am the same age as him and I am writing a blog and he is finalizing a deal for peace in the middle east with Saudi Arabia, all of this in fucking history. Babe, there are fucking vipers everywhere here in D.C. I thought the fucking real estate salesman in New York City were something. Yeah Dad. Babe, I also need you to write a fucking essay about my administration is turning against me, and holding me in check, for the sake of the country. Then open a gmail account and email it to the New York Times. Can you get that done around Friday at 5PM? So that way all fucking weekend all they talk about is me again. Thanks Babe. Sure Dad, you want some more ice cream. Or another brownie. No hunny. You look fucking hot today by the way. You been working out. Its interesting that I am in a suit in the oval office at the white office every day, and how long does it fucking take to get ready every morning putting on my suit, cause at my other job I could wear jeans sometimes, and the time it takes to shave my face, and for some reason I just can’t imagine Trump shaving his face, looking into the mirror, hovering over a bathroom sink, naked with a towel around his waste, shaving, does he fucking sleep in his suit, and if you live in the white house, can you ever just wear like fucking sweats, or basketball shorts to the office. Why do they make the President live above the Chinese Restaurant he owns? Babe you want to come home from club with me, yeah I live above a fucking laundry mat. Speaking of Laundry Mats, the last time I fucking went to New York City. That was a dark, evil, scary fucking place. I live in Texas where everyone is white, drives a fucking mercedes, even the waiters make 90 thousand dollars, fucking sterile and sanitary, clean fucking roads and highways, nice fucking children’s parks and playgrounds in every neighborhood, beautiful fucking city, then I go to Long Island Ice T fucking every liquor in the cabinet, sugar and soda, drinking people fucking walking around the streets, pushing shopping carts, living in fucking those buildings that the alleys that spider man always saves someone from getting robbed in, and for some reason there is always smoke blowing out the door, from someone steaming the dishes in an industrial kitchen, and it looks like it rains every fucking day, slippery ass wet roads that random gangs of thugs hang out in with switch blades, playing fucking wall ball for hours, until someone takes their bird they rented down a wrong turn, hey give me your fucking wallet, Its 2018 I don’t have a wallet, give me your fucking apple pay, whats your password, I am not going to give it to you, give it to me or you die and I smash your phone, and fuck, wait that means I get nothing, I need you to live, um call Tim Cook, ask him to open it, Hey Tim can you open the phone of this terrorist that is in ISIS,  because the FBI can’t even open a fucking IPhone, and when you fuck up trying to open your wife’s phone to go through her text messages, hey why is that guy at work buying you fucking sausage colaches, and you try to many times, it locks for first a minute, then 5 minutes, then an hr, then, god dammit, apple has put an entire industry of petty thiefs out of business, get the fuck out of here kid. Don’t use Life 360 app that tracks all your movements, to led the cops right back here. To where we are playing baseball, and Richie Richie pulls up in his rolls royce and wants to play with us. Homerun. Fuck our only fucking ball goes through the window of a scary closed down factory in Syracuse, and that is why everyone walks around sad, because Xerox left with our economy, and all our possessions and dignity, because we are not smart enough to get jobs that don’t require us filling out new hire packets that don’t promise us vacation until after the 1 year of proven work ethic and integrity. Why the fuck did I marry someone who puts brakes on cars for a living? He told me it would be cheaper if I bought them from autozone myself, and then brought them to him, to put them on, and I thought that he had great ideas. You’re fired. Within 2 years. Every young coach the NFL just hired. You ever seen the movie Con Air. All those fucking criminals on that rogue fucking plane is your new team on the way to a road game. First off its amazing what your mind can make you do, or say during an interview, when you have been locked up, in a quality control closet with Kyle Shanahan at the bucs facility, and that fight or flight kicks in, you’re chance to escape McVay’s hidden god complex, I mean jail, and all the sudden out of nowhere, because you want to coach so fucking bad, you steal the Rams chance at a Superbowl, the bengals fucking 737 jumbo jet, and fly it fucking perfectly happy back to Cincinatti. Like they say about young quarterbacks. They haven’t learned how to turn the ball over yet, or coach any offense that has ever scored any points, certainly not at the Dolphins or Cincinatti. I love that line Zac. Great interview. Film, and natural instinct man. He just has it. I don’t know what it is. But he has it. I don’t know man, I just, I am not fucking going back to the slammer. I even left everything in my office at the Rams facility. Or being a quarterback coach. My father in Law made me head coach now. Never going back. Big things ahead for me. I wont end up like Cameron Poe. Who served years in the military, earned admiral discharge, learning how to lose from Adam Gase. Folding under the pressure of Trey Wingo, and starting to drink to much, and accidently killing someone in the parking lot during a minor bar fight & disagreement. Yeah, Cameron was a great  admiral in the army, everyone said a fucking great assistant coach, but then we started losing a lot, and he just uppercutted someone too hard like fucking scorpion in mortal kombat, or Tom Cable, and now he is in jail, fired and back as the offensive coordinator for Patriots, when he shouldn’t have ever left, or even been in this head coaching position in the first place. Yeah man. I didn’t realize the NFL these days was like getting a head coach position with only 1 year of coordinator experience, and you have to save Las Vegas from a plane full of convicts, I mean Lesean McCoy putting a hit on someone this offseason and still getting to play, but Ezekiell Elliot’s girlfriend is mad he broke up with her because his agent said there was way better pussy at the NFL level, and said he hit her, and had to sit out the season, and in these scenarios, just like the movie, the plane and your season is going to crash into Treasure Island, on the way to getting your ass beat by the Raiders, and everyone who use to play with you, having to watch ESPN break the news, that you just got fucking terminated after only 1 fucking season, you limp dick mother fucker. You know who the fuck I would hire if I was head coach. I would hire three fucking people to coach. Me the head coach. 1 fucking coordinator who does whatever the fuck I tell him to do. 1 defensive coordinator who does whatever the fuck I tell him to. Period. 3 fucking people. Like Steve Jobs said one time, anything more than 3 people in a meeting is unproductive. People start fucking gossiping, coming up with their own ideas. Their own visions of how they would run the team. Fucking sneaking off into the dimly lit corridors that every single picture of Robert Mueller have him going through, and there is never just one of him, at the beach with his family, or like most politicians and celebrities, smiling and accepting money from Harvey Weinstein. Which whatever happened to him and that case, because it seems like nothing. Its not trending on twitter anymore. You think you are using social media. You are using a weapon of mass destruction. You are riding on the back of a nuclear warhead. Scientifically engineered cyber mobs. Using hashtags to overthrow people and governments. Why the fuck do you think China won’t let any of these social media companies into their country? Do you think its because they just don’t want you tweeting your thoughts on Kyler Murray giving up $5M dollars to enter the NFL draft, and have the Cowboys turn Woodrow Dantlzer into a kick returner, when 15 years later, he would have been the number 1 pick in the draft. And not bagging groceries, wishing he would get invited back into acting on the Cosby Show. I thought Bill just had headaches like Urban, and was taking those caffeinne pills Jessie Spanos was just trying to pass her SAT with.  Rich Eisen tweets back, solid take. Thanks Rich. Appreciate it man. I feel so fucking lucky that you fucking responded back to one of my tweets. You know why I am such a master marketer. Here is why. Because the cast of the Vanderpumps needs controversy, reality stars need chaos, they need things to go viral, so if you just fuck with them on twitter, like Ariana Maddix loves riding horses, and my grandma use to take me to feed horses sugar cubes as a kid, I would hold my hand through the fence with a sugar cube in my palm, and the horse would lick it out of my hand, and I would wiggle and say eww yucky, as a big ass horse toungue, felt like Garey Busey was licking my hand, big ass horse teeth. So I tweet to ask her if she likes to feed her horse, sugar cubes, to which she can relate to me, and tweets me back, so now she kind of cyber trusts me, cause of the cute tweet and swipes right on my comment. Now its stuck on her twitter timeline, for all 20 thousand plus fans and chat bots she paid for to get online famous, to see and like too, and next thing you know I get 10,000 fucking people to my website. Because fuck you. That is why– and I have gotten almost every single fucking “celebrity,” fucking hack, fucking lazy fucking Shep from Southern Charm, fucking all of them to like my tweets, to tweet at me, and retweet, resulting in thousands of fucking website views. Kyle from summer house once told me fuck off because he tried to raise 25 thousand dollars for his shitty nutrition app, and I told him 25 thousand dollars isn’t enough for the catering of an office potluck for one of my companies, and he went off the fucking deep end, rage tweeting me and my companies shitty name, and next thing you know I got 100 downloads. Suck my fucking cock. Period. But anyways, China doesn’t need its citizens addicted to fucking social media likes like its a bump of coke off your jeep cherokee key. Where has this key been. Actually pretty loyal. It only fits and goes into one ignition. It wont start if I try to put it in another ignition of another jeep. Keys are the best husbands. Fuck wong tee tong, I don’t fucking know. I watched fucking Anthony Bourdain go to China once, and he ate a soup that was so fucking hot, so many fucking spices, that the soup gets your drunk. No alcohol. But the combination of ingredients and temperature is such an intense flavor and experience, that you get fucking high and drunk off eating fucking soup. Babe are you fucking drinking Vodka at 10am again? No babe, no I just had a bowl of fucking soup. Bro if you legalize soup that fucks you, in America, every one will be healthy by next year. Everyone will have a fucking crossfit body. If soup could fuck you up like this chinese soup, it would be the number 1 diet in America on Pinterest, pinned by Soccer moms, by tomorrow. Babe we are fucking going to the Supermarket to get everything I need, to make this fucking soup. Dude social media is one big fucking scam. I guarantee that Pinterest has some fucking relationship with Super Markets. So we are going to create a site that pins great dishes to make that they are going to have to go to your store to buy all the ingredients. See this recipe right here. This is baked potato soup and it should cost him around 37 dollars to make it himself with ingredients from Krogers. Because he is going to have to buy fresh onions, and garlic, and chop them up at home, and fucking try not to cry, I don’t miss my dad, I can do this, I can get through this scene in Greys anatomy, I mean this onion, I mean I just chopped up a jalapeno and forgot to wash my hands before finger banging my girlfriend, and now her vagina is on fire, god dammit H, you didn’t wash your fucking hands, babe I fucking told you I wanted to cook dinner and clean all the fucking dishes, and shower, so that way by the time we fuck I guaranteed had clean hands, pour milk on it, your pussy. To calm it down. They give you milk when you order the 3 mile wings at Hooters, and on that show where that guy eats really hot wings and people at the bar clap, but are wondering, why isn’t Saban putting Jalen in for Tua in the national title, yet. Is there some kind of double standard? Because Tua said if Saban didn’t put him in that last game last year, he would have transferred. Which is what Jalen just said he was doing. So I guess you win some you lose some. Can’t get it right every fucking time. Oh look, he finished 3lb cheeseburger at fat burger, and got a t-shirt for it, and a 30 dollar bill to pay. And now he is not sure it was worth it because he feels fucking sick to his stomach. That he spent the early 2000’s playing football, instead of learning how to code apps and websites, and missed easily becoming a billionaire, trading that for getting screamed at by coaches high on redbull, and working out constantly, coach seriously, I am just fucking tired, can I please not run today, fuck no, you better fucking run 6 gasers up and down in 53 seconds or it means you are not ready to drop back only 5 yards, and throw, during fall camp, so we are going to make you run after practice every day until you can pass it, while everyone who did pass it is inside eating lunch, relaxing and playing ping pong, which I fucking hate. Dont ever ask me to play ping pong fucking ever. Swear to god. Not even once. Not even in a Drew Brees is so competitive he beat me at ping pong article. I don’t give 1 fuck about this article you shared with me from twitter. Like China. Leave my country and my people the fuck alone trying to hide the CIA in ESPN articles. Social media is surveillance re-branded. They don’t fucking want fucking want the United States keeping tabs on all of their citicizens locations, thoughts feelings and concerns, their shopping habits, their eating and restaurant habits, their fucking social and economic, and cultural habits. Because within 1 year of them letting Facebook into China. Every person in China would be wearing a Make America Great Again hat!  Like H is his QBLesson videos, which I think is just the icing on the fucking cake. You keep eating a slice of. Fuck off. I am not a symphony. I fucking hate teams. I am a human guitar solo.


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